Boer (Farmer) Computer Dictionary from South Africa

This 'dictionary'was recently shared by a good Afrikaner friend of ours - and reflects Luddites (ie. opposed to technological change) from around the world. 

Monitor: Keeping an eye on the braai

Download: Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive:Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard: Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys 
Window: What you shut when it's cold
Screen: What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte: What mosquitoes do
Bit: What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte: What mosquitoes at the dam do
Chip A bar snack
Micro Chip What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix Oom Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop Where the cat sleeps
Software Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse What eats the grain in the shed
Mouse Pad Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat
Mainframe What holds the shed up
Web What spiders make
Web Site The shed (or under the verandah)
Cursor The old bloke what swears a lot
Search Engine What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade A steep hill
Server The person at the pub that brings out the lunch
Mail Server The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch
User The neighbour that keeps borrowing things
Network When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape When fish maneuvers out of reach of net
Online When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line When the pegs don't hold the washing up
Blog Shortened version of Braai Log